Article #72
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Dear Jitterbug:
My boss wants me to take him to play golf. The problem is he's never played before. I took him to the driving range, where he was a loud, unsophisticated, no-etiquette jackass. All he wanted to do was swing the driver, and laughed every time he hit a ball over the fence into the street (sideways, not long ways). He is my boss, so I don't want to offend him by ridiculing his behavior, but I don't know where to go from here. Any advice?
Ray C.
Jitterbug Gang Fan
Jitterbug:
Truthfully, Ray, I don't see what the big deal is. When it comes to golf etiquette, the beginner has to be told.
I'd start with something along these lines: "There's no way for you to know this, but I want to give you the heads up. The golf course is like the library; you're expected to be quiet when other people are within earshot. Plus, there are certain places you can and can't walk, so don't be offended when I point them out. Soon, you'll know enough so you can play with other people and won't have to worry about…"
With the right approach, I think you can communicate very plainly what your boss needs to know about golf course etiquette.
Mr. Vaughn:
Well, all that's fine and dandy about etiquette, but what about when you and your boss find yourselves on the first tee of a crowded course?
As you might imagine, he's gonna hit the ball sideways just like he did on the range. And, in keeping with the no-etiquette thing, he's probably gonna take forever getting down the fairway. So, if you really want to help him without offending him, just suggest a little scramble. "Say, boss, let's you and me play a little team game. We'll both tee off, and whoever's drive is better, we'll both play from there. And, we'll do the same thing for the next shot and so on."
Let him know that do-over shots are strictly prohibited in golf, and that this scramble format will provide him the opportunity to get the most for his money. More importantly, you'll be able to keep up with where all of his balls fly, as he'll be hitting from right next to you all day long.
Lord Berry:
If your boss really is as wild and unsettled as you fear, he may not conform to the rules and traditions that make golf a gentleman's game. And, while the thought of this must terrify you, just remember that non-conformists grow tired of golf very quickly. The likelihood is, therefore, that good or bad, the anxiety you feel will be short-lived.