Article #26
Teacher: Twin
To meet this week's teacher, or to purchase a copy of MUNIE ~ The Jitterbug Collection, go to www.bobbysteiner.com
Folks don't understand what psychological warfare is all about, but that's what keeps me in business. After all, I couldn't give a darn how good I shoot as long as I shoot better than the person I'm playin' against. So, if I gotta exact a little mind control to bring the competition down to my level, I'm happy to do so.
How?
Well, I don't want to give away all my secrets, but I will let you in on one or two.
Mechanical thoughts
By now you probably think I fill my opponent with all kinds of negative thoughts; like I say and do stuff that makes people lose confidence. Nothing could be further from the truth.
You see, helpin' your opponent slip into the toilet ain't about antagonizing 'em in a straight-forward fashion. In fact, positive words can be just as damaging as negative ones when it comes to sabotaging the opposition.
For instance, when somebody is in the zone, that is, playing golf better than they normally do, I'll compliment them on their backswing; say something like, "It's no wonder you're playing so well. The pace of your backswing is in perfect cadence with your turning hips."
That's all I need to say to someone who's swingin' good, because now, whether they want to or not, they're gonna start thinkin' about their backswing. And, believe me, anybody in the zone ought not start thinkin' about their swing.
What's even better is that after they've fallen completely apart, I still look like the good guy for having complimented them on their motion. I love it!
The Power of Diversion
Another thing I like to do is get my opponent out of the moment. This is easily achieved by asking questions of a somewhat personal nature.
I might say, "So, where are you originally from?" or "What is the best round you ever played? Tell me all about your grandkids."
You see, the one thing people will drop everything else for is a conversation about theyselves. So, here they go, getting all warm and fuzzy, talkin' about their grandkids or the hole-in-one they got in Hawaii, and suddenly, one bad swing turns into five or six. Once more, appearing genuinely interested, I slip under the radar of suspicion. I love it!
Slow Play
People, whether they know it or not, are instinctively in search of balance. This extends not only to balance in a physical sense, but also a balance of time. So, when a member of a group plays particularly slow, you can be sure the other members of the group will act in a way to offset that slow player.
And, how do you suppose one might offset slow play?
That's right, people start comin' outta their socks, tryin' to get to the ball to hit it as quickly as possible.
So, when I'm playing a match in which it appears my chances could improve by my opponent speeding up, I simply slow down.
Now, mind you, I do this only as a last resort, as I am a man of integrity. Just the same, I still love it!
So, in closing, all you people out there who think golf is a game in which you have no control over what the opposition does should join me for a round of golf. I'd love to have you.
Editor's Note: This is conduct unbecoming, and in no way endorsed by Jitterbug. It is written solely for the purpose of helping you, the reader, identify gamesmanship before it becomes a problem.